Denial & Changes

These past few weeks have been weird for me. Weird in a way something is bugging me and I don't know what it is. Or maybe I do know what it is but I'm just denying that's the reason. Denial is a very hard thing to accept. Thoughts of "no, that can't be it" keep running through my head. It really hit home when my closest friend said it out loud. I just broke down there and then and realized it's true that what I've been denying all long is the reason.
I know life has it's ups and downs and it's one rollercoaster ride which you can't get off midway. Everybody's life been there, done that. It's the aftermath that really test your ability to adapt to the changes. Just like the September 11 horror or when Italy won the World Cup 2006. By the way, that was a really cool headbutt Zizou and to end your career in such a dramatic way. Let's see that action again.


Anyway, personally, it all boils down to how are you going to accept and adapt to the changes. It's going to be a year and I thought that I would have adapted to changes in my current situation. Apparently not. I know life was going to be hard but facing the truth is tiring. Been going through denial, acceptance, then denial again and the process repeats. Now I'm in the acceptance stage and it hurts real bad. It feels like you're the loneliest person in the world and you're facing the cold hard truth. Watching my friends going to the next stage in their career was hard enough but to watch them go to the next stage plus moving away altogether just kills me. I know in the end of our university life we would go our separate ways but not being able to celebrate together with them is just brutal. People say, don't worry, we won't forget you, we are still your friends. It's just not the same. I feel like I'm not in that batch and neither am I in the new batch. I feel like an invalid sometimes. I know you'll say, you can always make new friends. New friends already have their clicks and old ones of course will always be your clicks but it's just different. Different timing, different grouping, 300km away...
It's just that you are so comfortable with your current life and BAM! one day, suddenly everything changes.